Eat Know Grow Blog

The Rules of Self-Obsession

When we are born, no one and nothing exists beyond ourselves. We are the world, we are the universe and this is how we survive and thrive. So why is it that as we get older we are reprimanded and chastised for our level of self-concern? As women we play into the notion that being concerned for ourselves means where selfish or lack some maternal gene. And we have all seen the outcome of this self depravation. Mothers that look like the homeless family member or, at the other end of the spectrum women so encased in their careers that relationships are a foreign concept.
As we discussed finance, career building and other issues that concern women, we at EKG found an under lying issue that popped up at each session and in each discussion. Self-obsession. Is it a bad thing? Many women admitted to being self-obsessed but not selfish. Their self-obsession is rooted in the goal of becoming the best at their careers, parenthood, fashion, socializing… everything. And to accomplish this they are self-obsessed, focusing on their behavior, they way they look, speak, dress, what they learn, eat, where they live, it’s never ending. Then, there’s the woman at the other end, who has renounced all things self. She was very few in number at these sessions, but she was there (because this was a work event). How could they be a good mother, co-worker, giver, lover, teacher, friend, if they focused on themselves? It’s impossible for them.
Now, many of us fall (i.e. pace and flounder) in the middle. Afraid to be judged as cold and selfish versus setting ourselves as a priority, wanting and having it all. Well, Eat Know Grow is here to tell you that self-obsession isn’t the devil, in fact, it can be a good thing. What women need are The Rules of Self-Obsession and EKG is here to give them to you. Check back Tuesday for Rule #1.